I grew up in an era where the size of one’s family was a point of great pride and respect. My very own family starting with my grandparents had eleven children and thirty-three grandchildren. Staying connected with each other was very important (and still is), and even though some of the members of our family members lived in different places, family get-togethers were made a priority. We made it a priority to celebrate our connection as family so much so that not only on holidays but sometimes at random times we would plan impromptu socials just because we missed each other.

In my family, everyone is considered invaluable and irreplaceable. Each family member is loved and their presence as their unique selves is deeply appreciated; it is this bond that makes us In my family, everyone is considered invaluable and irreplaceable. Each family member is loved and their presence as their unique selves is deeply appreciated; it is this bond that makes us blood. Blood, in this case transcends genetics and goes deeper than simply sharing a last name, it is the existential bond of love and legacy that binds us. Even if you were married into our family you were considered blood because out of the abundance of love and connection shared between our family comes a ‘spillover’ type of love that touches even those engrafted into our family by marriage.

This ‘blood bond’ concept is slowly being lost in our society, particularly with the rise of this generation’s self-made, independent, brand-conscious, pride-filled, egomania. Our society promotes self-sufficiency and the right to decide your own path in life over being connected to a family unit. Persons on this selfish and self-centered path, tend to emulate and connect with like-minded individuals in a very superficial and transactional way instead of a deep connection shared and experienced within a healthy family unit.

I submit for your consideration the following reasons for the importance of a healthy family dynamic:

Connection - the power of knowing you belong. You may have associates and friends that like you, but at the end of the day they are not obligated to you. Those types of relationships when compared to family bonds are as different as dating and marriage. Dating has an “out clause” that allows a person to leave the relationship with minimal negative consequences, especially when compared to marriage. Marriage, on the other hand, is a commitment or covenant between two people that has legal and to some people spiritual ramifications. Though not always the case, being a part of a family should carry a similar level of commitment.

Understanding yourself. There is a definite correlation between your connection with family and your ability to identify who you are and where you belong. Unfortunately, I did not grow up with my father and probably have seen him a handful of times growing up, but yet I still share many of his personality and behavioral traits. The connection to family is undeniable and largely inevitable which is why we must connect to understand where we come from in order to know where we’re going.

Legacy. Eric Ericson, a pioneer in the field of psychology, wrote about our stages of development. In the last stage he says that we are concerned with integrity versus despair. As we come to grips with our mortality, typically as we get older, we tend to be concern about the lives we’ve touched and our impact on the world. We feel a sense of integrity if we perceive that our impact on the world has been positive and, on the flipside, we tend to feel despair if we perceive that our potential was never fully realized or if our purpose was not discovered. I believe family is essential to this stage of development and is a major factor in creating a feeling of integrity when it comes to establishing a rich legacy.

These are just a few tips to get you started on your journey. Get excited about life and take a step back to appreciate what you have been blessed with. If you are in the North Alabama area and are looking for a counselor please check me out at https://www.facebook.com/atouchofpeacecounseling/or call me at 256-334-9572 to set up an appointment today.