New Vision Therapeutic

The Dream Killer

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 15:29:56 GMT

The Dream Killer

Has an idea you’ve had ever excited you so much that you just had to share it with someone? Most people tend to share their deepest thoughts and feelings with individuals within their circle of trust and love. Oftentimes, whether fairly or unfairly, the person with the idea expects a mutually enthusiastic response. The belief is, if you can explain your idea successfully and get the response you are looking for from others then you know you’ve hit on something big, which in turn provides the validation and encouragement you need to pursue your idea.

The reality is, that there are times when those conversations don’t go as expected and we leave discouraged and disappointed. The excitement you once had suddenly turns to fear as you begin to consider the reasons presented to you as to why you cannot succeed. How did your dream devolve from such an exciting possibility to a gloomy reality?

Let’s for a brief moment examine three parts of the mental process that occurs between the birth of an idea in your own mind to the verbalization of it to someone whose position in your life you value and then to the negative response you may receive from that person. I have characterized this mental process as the ‘Dream Killer’! Dream killers are those things, thoughts, and yes even people in your life whose negativity suck the life and excitement out of a new idea and replaces it with fear and doubt.

1) People : The need for other’s approval can stop a dreamer in their tracks! It’s difficult to get other people who didn’t receive the dream excited about a new idea. Even our loved ones, though well-meaning, subconsciously project their own fears and insecurities onto you and your idea and conjure up every reason why your idea is a bad one. You may want to reconsider the people with whom you divulge the details of newly formed ideas in order to avoid this type of dream killer. Here are a few ways to elicit the right motivation from the right people:

i. Start with people who don’t know you as intimately as your loved ones. Sometimes strangers who don’t have any preconceived biases about your abilities can be the best people to talk to. I know this may seem counter-intuitive, but people who don’t know you on the level of your family or friends are sometimes more likely to believe in the best of you. It has been my experience that these individuals tend to listen more and lecture less! They have even been a source of encouragement when they shared their own life story or the testimonials of others who achieved something similar.

ii. Have a plan and thoroughly consider your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats also called a SWOT analysis. Leverage your conversations with others about your dream as an opportunity to bounce ideas and really hone in to develop a solid framework for the execution of your idea. The more you talk about your dream with savvy persons who have no personal agenda and minimal prejudice, the clearer your dream will become. Again, this technique is only helpful when you are talking to people that encourage both creative and critical thought. As they engage you in conversation about your idea, allow this interaction to aid you in your process of fleshing out the particulars of your idea. Always be open to others questions because they may reveal new perspectives that you had not previously considered.

2) Doubt : We can have a dream that we believe in but doubt our ability to execute it. We can easily envision someone else doing it but for some reason cannot picture ourselves as that someone. Somewhere along the way in our life we develop a poor outlook of our abilities. This may be due to real and existing challenges that we face or it may be simply just a lack of experience in the area of our pursuit, but either way, this is just another dream killer! Your disadvantage does not define you! As the saying goes, ‘where there’s a will there’s a way’, the question is do you have the will!?

Consider the following as you try to summon your will to tackle a new challenge:

i. Push for success – A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step! Take the first step towards your goal, which may appear insignificant at first, but, try to start with something simple and then once you accomplish that first thing, you gain the necessary momentum to tackle the bigger challenges. The more wins you accomplish the more confidence you build and the stronger your will becomes.

ii. Kill self-pity. You don’t have time to look backwards unless it’s to learn from your mistakes! Failures are simply learning and growth opportunities. Self-pity will suck you into a world of depression and anxiety. Learn to look at things from a different vantage point and recognize how fortunate you are compared to others. Setbacks happen to the best of us, the key however, is how we handle them. As a popular saying goes, “a Setback is just a Set Up for a major Comeback!

3) Reality : The truth is that reality can be its own dream killer! You may find that your bank account does not share your excitement or that others have tried and failed at the same thing. Sometimes you must muster the courage and declare “D@m* the torpedoes!” in the face of a gloomy reality. Chasing a dream is a major faith step and is not for the faint of heart. There are certain situations that call for taking a chance and betting on yourself even though the way seems dark and is littered with all sorts of obstacles. American hero, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. pursued a dream that many at the time said was impossible and foolish. What if Dr. King succumbed to the naysayers, what would the world be like today!?

Consider the following ways we can defy reality:

i. Just like the Wright Brothers chose Kitty Hawk North Carolina because of its soft sand that would hopefully cushion the impact of a crash landing you too should consider choosing an opportunity and approach that should failure occur will not be totally devastating. Do what ever you can to minimize the risk but don’t let anything keep you from taking that risk! Everything in life has risks associated with it, just keep the potential reward in view.

ii. Leave a legacy for the next generation. Think about the heroes of history and even the people in your own circle that you admire. Their quest to change the future for not only themselves but for others has benefited scores of people. In your pursuit of your dream, recognize that you have a responsibility to others as well. Always try to leave something behind for the next generation to use to start their journey. Look beyond yourself and consider the impact of your dream upon those who come behind you.

These are just a few tips to get you started on your journey. Get excited about life and take a step back to appreciate what you have been blessed with. If you are in the North Alabama area and are looking for a counselor please check me out at https://www.facebook.com/atouchofpeacecounseling/ or call me at 256-334-9572 to set up an appointment today.

The Blood that Bonds

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 15:29:55 GMT

The Blood that Bonds

I grew up in an era where the size of one’s family was a point of great pride and respect. My very own family starting with my grandparents had eleven children and thirty-three grandchildren. Staying connected with each other was very important (and still is), and even though some of the members of our family members lived in different places, family get-togethers were made a priority. We made it a priority to celebrate our connection as family so much so that not only on holidays but sometimes at random times we would plan impromptu socials just because we missed each other.

In my family, everyone is considered invaluable and irreplaceable. Each family member is loved and their presence as their unique selves is deeply appreciated; it is this bond that makes us In my family, everyone is considered invaluable and irreplaceable. Each family member is loved and their presence as their unique selves is deeply appreciated; it is this bond that makes us blood. Blood, in this case transcends genetics and goes deeper than simply sharing a last name, it is the existential bond of love and legacy that binds us. Even if you were married into our family you were considered blood because out of the abundance of love and connection shared between our family comes a ‘spillover’ type of love that touches even those engrafted into our family by marriage.

This ‘blood bond’ concept is slowly being lost in our society, particularly with the rise of this generation’s self-made, independent, brand-conscious, pride-filled, egomania. Our society promotes self-sufficiency and the right to decide your own path in life over being connected to a family unit. Persons on this selfish and self-centered path, tend to emulate and connect with like-minded individuals in a very superficial and transactional way instead of a deep connection shared and experienced within a healthy family unit.

I submit for your consideration the following reasons for the importance of a healthy family dynamic:

Connection - the power of knowing you belong. You may have associates and friends that like you, but at the end of the day they are not obligated to you. Those types of relationships when compared to family bonds are as different as dating and marriage. Dating has an “out clause” that allows a person to leave the relationship with minimal negative consequences, especially when compared to marriage. Marriage, on the other hand, is a commitment or covenant between two people that has legal and to some people spiritual ramifications. Though not always the case, being a part of a family should carry a similar level of commitment.

Understanding yourself . There is a definite correlation between your connection with family and your ability to identify who you are and where you belong. Unfortunately, I did not grow up with my father and probably have seen him a handful of times growing up, but yet I still share many of his personality and behavioral traits. The connection to family is undeniable and largely inevitable which is why we must connect to understand where we come from in order to know where we’re going.

Legacy . Eric Ericson, a pioneer in the field of psychology, wrote about our stages of development. In the last stage he says that we are concerned with integrity versus despair. As we come to grips with our mortality, typically as we get older, we tend to be concern about the lives we’ve touched and our impact on the world. We feel a sense of integrity if we perceive that our impact on the world has been positive and, on the flipside, we tend to feel despair if we perceive that our potential was never fully realized or if our purpose was not discovered. I believe family is essential to this stage of development and is a major factor in creating a feeling of integrity when it comes to establishing a rich legacy.

Our Spiritual Health

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 15:29:52 GMT

Our Spiritual Health

Good mental health means that all aspects of a person are in balance and harmony which encompasses the Mental, Physical, Social, Emotional, and Good mental health means that all aspects of a person are in balance and harmony which encompasses the Mental, Physical, Social, Emotional, and Spiritual. Let’s spend a brief moment exploring our spiritual health.

I had a conversation with my brother earlier in the week discussing my plans to transition full time into my own private practice. I shared with him how nervous I was about the move and how it felt like all of the “safety nets” I was accustomed to– steady income, benefits, paid time off, etc. was being pulled out from under me and I was left on this entrepreneurship tightrope with just a vision of success and the ground of failure looming beneath me. I shared with him that this experience will be a true test of my character and will to succeed on my own.

At this point in the conversation my brother stops me and says, “Well what about God bro!?” At first, I dismissed his comment because I knew he understood what I meant by “on my own”. I said, “of course I know that God is with me!” to which he replied, “How can you say that and not acknowledge Him in your plans or your fears about the future?”

At that moment I realized that I had to stop and think about my spiritual health. Do I attend to my spiritual health enough? Am I connected with the source of my spirituality and draw from that strength in times of fear and doubt? As I reflected on my brother’s remarks afterwards, I must admit that he is right! Finding strength and perspective spiritually is very important as we find balance and harmony among the other aspects of our lives.

We have power within us to face any challenge that may come our way, but we need to feed, sharpen, practice, and engage those spiritual tools daily in order to fortify ourselves to face even bigger tests in the future.

TAKE ACTION! 5 Reasons to Make a New Year’s Resolution

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 15:29:51 GMT

TAKE ACTION! 5 Reasons to Make a New Year's Resolution

During the month of January, we often talk about new beginnings. As another year passes and a new year is upon us, most of us feel the urge to look at our past mistakes and failures in order to refresh our goals, renew our mindset, and restart our journey towards accomplishing them. This is a natural human response and is healthy for our growth.

Many people are of the belief that resolutions are unhealthy because it’s ultimately a setup for failure, but I submit for your consideration, 5 reasons why resolutions are one of the healthiest things a person can do even when faced with the possibility of failure because I believe the rewards outweigh the risks.

1. Hope for the Future : Nothing beats depression like hope! Believing that you have a chance at something new or great can be the push you need to take the next step toward your goal. As the saying goes, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.” Positive movement of any kind towards your goal will ultimately lead to the finish line you desire. The key is to Take Action ! Even though we may experience setbacks along our journey, embrace the experience and get back up and try again. Tell yourself, “if I have breath in my body I will always get up and fight!”

2. Build upon Mistakes : Learn from your mistakes! Understand that failure is not final, but an opportunity to learn, persevere, and overcome. All successful people have experienced failure but what sets them apart from many of us is their resolve to get back up and try again. You were designed with an incredible resilient spirit! You have the ability to adapt and learn from your mistakes. The key is to Take Action ! Embrace the reality of your failure and look at your mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow.

3. Develop Resilience : Our body and mind naturally want to shield us from the harsh realities of life. These coping mechanisms allow us time mentally, emotionally, and even physically to adjust to problems or less than ideal situations without having a mental breakdown. This state of mental defiance should only last temporarily; the problem is when we get stuck in this state of delusion and denial. At some point we need to address the issues at hand or run the risk of developing an unresolved subconscious emotional issue. The key is to Take Action ! Embrace your God given strength and ability to deal and cope! Understand that processing the tough issues of life is a sign of a strong, healthy, and balanced person. Sometimes your strength can be uncomfortable to others, but like one of my mentors would often say to me, “Sometimes we need to be comfortable making others uncomfortable!”

4. Embrace Change : Think about what might happen if you do try to change! You might just lose those stubborn extra pounds, or start a successful business, or develop better relationships, or finish that unique project, or you just might change the world! I know it may sound idealistic at first, but every cultural, technological, political, or social advancement was birthed in the mind of a person who embraced the possibility of change -- not only of the world around them but also of themselves! The historical giants in our planet’s history dared to dream of a world as it could be and found their purpose and calling in their pursuit to make their dream a reality. Some of the best things in life were born out of dreams! The key is to Take Action ! Embrace the possibility of change in your life and in your world. Dare to dream of something bigger and better! Talk about your dreams every chance you get, write it down, and pursue it with all you’ve got! Be adaptable when necessary, but don’t be afraid to be creative and try new things.

5. Be an Influencer: My mother always told me, “Son, you never know who’s watching you!” Recognize that there is someone within your sphere of influence who will benefit from your experience and ultimately your success! You may never know the lives you touch along the way, but know that someone will always benefit from your success and even your failures. I’m a strong believer that we are a product of the influencers in our lives who served to shape the very essence of who we are! The key is to Take Action ! Accept the challenge of leadership as a positive role model and influencer in your circle. You are a trailblazer paving the path for those behind you.

Breaking Depression

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 15:29:50 GMT

Breaking Depression

We live in a world that is more advanced than ever before. We can see clear across the galaxy. The human race has evolved, our laws have advanced, and the technology is cutting edge! There should arguably be no better time in history to be alive, yet more people than ever before are suffering with depression, anxiety and other chronic mental health issues. Why when we should be celebrating life, are we frustrated, worried, and broken down? Why does it seem like we just can’t figure out how to be content and at peace with the life we are living?

My inspirational message today focuses on one specific piece of this deep question. I’m finding that no matter what you’ve got going on you can still feel hopeless and depressed. You can be successful and still feel a sense of despair, but on the flip side you can be in need and have all the hope in the world! You can have a crowd of people around you and feel lonely or be around a close friend and feel strong emotional support.

Let’s briefly explore three things that can aid in breaking the cycle of depression.

The first step is, limiting your options. Yes, we have too many choices! This plethora of choices can leave us dissatisfied with our life. Many times, I have worked with someone who is pursuing their master’s degree, have a decent career and a supportive family, but feel empty due to not accomplishing everything that they feel they can do. Don’t get me wrong, it’s ok to pursue opportunities that present themselves or create your own opportunities but I am saying not to pick everything that’s in front of you. Our world provides many cool options to almost everything in life. When making decisions about what to pursue in life ‘less is more’! Remind yourself that you don’t have to do everything to feel fulfilled.

The second step is, share your burdens. We live in a world where everything is on display which feeds into the problem of meaningful connection. We display our lives in controlled sound bites that are void of personal connection. We have lost touch with the power of interpersonal relationships where we can get genuine feedback on issues that we have from someone that can offer a different point of reference of where this issue may have derived from. It’s hard to grow based on a “like button” or an emoji.

The third step is, maintain healthy habits. The biggest killer of depression is a healthy lifestyle. Get a balanced dose of sunshine, sleep, exercise, water, spiritual connection, and a healthy diet. Doing these things in combination with counseling and the medical supervision of your doctor can dramatically decrease the physiological feelings of depression. Be careful of things that cause an excessive release of hormones like dopamine because the withdrawal or crash from such excessive hormonal releases may cause feelings of depression.

These are just a few tips to get you started on your journey. Get excited about life and take a step back to appreciate what you have been blessed with. If you are in the North Alabama area and are looking for a counselor check me out at http://www.atouchofpeace.org or call me at 256-334-9572 to set up an appointment today.